some time pass midnight

the tiredness hasn't got less. today has been headache and what not. yesterday i started with some handicraft. thought it would be stress relieving and make me have my anger under control. now i'm obsessed. i'm making a rug for my room. it has the colors red, pink, brown, yellow and black.

the dogs are running up and down the street in their pack again. they are beautiful. there is a couple of them that looks like giant muscles. strong hunters. they run the street at nights, looks at me when passin by. in the early morning you can see one of them sort of running home after a late night out. as if he was in a hurry back before getting caught.

i was sitting at my usual spot the other evening, wishing myself a puppy, a dog to guard my side as a dog actually came to me. it started sniffing around at the front of the shop. circling around me and the table. walking up and down the front for a while before it set off again. very cute this one.

i'm sitting and waiting to close now. someone still using the laptop... i'm yawning...

it's really cool today. has been raining quite heavy today and now it strted again. burr. Feels like the temperature must have dropped to atleast 25 celcius/ i want hot cocoa, a blanket and a hug.

been a weird month now. business wise i guess it's been alright, but personal... My god it sucks! crap de luxe!

i'm packing....

3 floors in China Town

- i got poo-water to my armpits for god sake.

the doorbell rings and the washing machine starts playing that ridiculous melody telling it is ready.
its the last couple checking-in today, a young couple from hong kong just getting a great 1st impression of the owner aka manager wearing pink rubber gloves reaching her elbows.

-welcome to borneo, i grin.

after four months of having the guesthouse running with two floors we just opened and finished our rooms on the 3rd, just in time for the check-ins. My brain has been out of control and the tiredness has had its effect on my body and mind, obviously my mood aswell... But still standing and smiling at the guests even though my head is spinning and from time to time feeling i might actually fall.
After the first hectic time of getting used to a third floor and it's starts settling in my mind and work and i can feel i have everything under control, the 1st floor bathroom gets blocked. Panic, nothing works. The whole day i try fix it without any luck. It's poo water to the edge of the toiletbowl, the smell is awful and i gag more times than i could count. And since i'm alone i'm working with poo, checking-in people, being a tourist guide, answering the phone, answering the door at the same time. wohoo. But i made it! goddamn i made it, so that poo on the floor last night since someone obviously missed the toilet bowl wasn't too bad. haha, ok poo is always bad, clean after yourself! damn pratt!

Again, sunday.

One week later, i'm having headache everyday, i'm on ephedrine which makes me wanna puke and sleep, antibiotics, headache pills, sleeping pills (which i haven't been able to try yet, maybe i make a collection for next time...). Tomorrow my lab-results should be ready so i'm off to the doctor again, yey... Then we are supposed to discuss further about pills pills pills.

Sunday

My mind is a restless place today. I feel so unsatisfied with everything. Business is good, i have a new worker and everything (sort of) is fine. I feel like screaming really loud or go horseback riding in the mountain fields, get lost or something...