Three

Threehouse is about to open for the public. This whole project has been a journey in all kinds of ways, mentally, physically... Sometimes i have wondered what on earth did i walk into, sometimes i have felt so freaking alone, sometimes i have cried, both of happiness and being sad, sometimes i have been so excited imagining about this place being finished. This is a very big step in my life. We all grow and shape into different persons in life, we fall on our way and there are many paths to walk but there is only one present life. I feel like i am on a good path now... I still remember how we put that first paint on the wall here and i started rolling the roller on the walls, through the corridors, i can remember how many times some of the walls have been repainted, haha, gosh. Gone shopping air-conds, beds, plywood, lists, balls, sunflowers and what not with ernesto and robin, i have learned a lot about watching the guys do construction, tried helping out with assisting and run for tools i did not even know existed before this. I have learned through elvin the electrician how i should face someone working for me and hopefully i can put that into practise more when the next time comes around. I have grown quite a lot through this time of construction. I have dealt with facing my inner demons, i have accepted that i can not go living in the past (im sure i will have some more downs in the future but if i compare myself dealing with it now with then and i have come much more mature), i have learned that i have two very precious people around me putting a dream of mine into reality. This project could not have been done without the guys, days and nights they have spent their time here working. I want to say that these are my dear friends. It has been us Three here together from the start and so it will be... i love this, the guys, i love Threehouse...because Borneo, is my hooome :D

peace and shopping

Since yesterday night until an incident this morning i've been haunted by numbers in my mind. In chinese belief the numbers have different meanings and the combos of numbers also make different meanings. a bad number with a good number before or after it could make it a opposite meaning from what the number is by itself. number four is bad! it means death. as simple as that. i haven't learned all the meanings yet and far from learning the combos. but yesterday it was the 14th and by not feeling super yesterday this number started growing bad sense in my mind and this morning at the post-office i got number 2214 i almost fainted. haha.
i know it also has to do with how much belief you put into this but now when being alone for a few weeks in kuching i feel like just living safe and not cause trouble....


Today i woke up and had my glass of Melilea (a green herb veggie drink that cleans your body) and coffee. Then i went to the post-office and paid some bills, went to the hardware-store to buy silicon and clear spray-paint. The staff was happy to see me and wondered where i've been (i was there almost everyday before). Then i had a coffee at black bean and watched a white guy trying to be cute and flirt across the street from where i was sitting. I didn't pay much attention but thought too myself, lucky it wasn't a fat chinese guy with a pony-tail winking at me very happy acting cool and thinking he looks good while carrying his girlfriends hand-bag (that happened to me at the cinema some months ago, i was shaaamed and even more when ernesto tell me this guy had been watching me already in the elevator). after black bean i went to a chinese incense shop where i bought some incense (obviously) for tonight. after that i went to the chinese pharmacy and bought myself some antiseptic herb-cream for my cut, some roots i will make some tea out of and some herbs i will make some more tea out of for my body. hehe. tonight after i finish my studies i feel like just pampering myself and clear my mind and soul, take care of myself and feel good. i feel this peace within myself just now, it's a feeling so strong my legs almost feel numb, in a good way. ha ha. i can't explain really what it is that i'm feeling. i feel like it is a new start on something tonight.



when i came back home i textmessaged nick at tracks, see if he could help me out with the silicon, he was here within minutes and knew where the things were already, i was suprised. hehe. i have very hard asking for help but before the boys went off to europe ernesto said i should ask nick for help if anything. my hope was not doing this but i did and it went smoothly. maybe its not that bad asking for help after all... not when it comes to someone who comes from this group of people atleast. they're reliable. with them around me, i'm in the good zone.


"this is not here" love -J

Sometimes

sometimes its just legoland and cigarettes



sometimes its peace


sometimes its just tiredness and studies


sometimes i ask myself, do i need
more in life than this?


sometimes your neighbors get a Kalashnikov


sometimes you just get sick of getting your
flipflops stolen



sometimes paul comes knocking and you just need to pratt

I like it a lot (pronounced with an extreme british accent)

despite the fact that i hate elvin it was an ok day. the boys came here with lots of decoration thingys they had been out shopping for the place and everything was really nice, when i heard the sound of the drapery that will be put in the lobby windows i got as excited as a kid opening christmas gifts. and the pillows, i love pillows! :) i must admit i was a bit sad not able to follow them shopping but ya ya... he he. hopefully next time. the boys were here the whole day and evening until night time and it felt very good. i like when they are here, it feels slightly more alive here and i can talk and laugh together with them. i like! tomorrow i get to go outside. they are going out with the boat and i will follow them just to get some fresh air and do my studies at the dock. nice.

im sleepy. good night.