reflections...

Been quite some time since i wrote anything at all here. Almost two months. Been hectic since the opening of Threehouse, a lot to learn, but most came just naturally, a lot of work and quite a lot to think about since i am here alone. Many different nationalities has already stayed here and many persons has become memorable. I can see that different countries have certain ways of acting, without saying people are different from country to country, but i can see different ways of behavior and being social and of course from there people have different personalities.

i have been happy lately, i have succeeded to actually do something in life, and i would like to think it is quite of a big thing. thanks to having such a wonderful person as ernesto helping me out i have come more far in 1 year of my life than struggling back and forth for years in depression. i have learned that i can do, and that i dont necessarily need to fail.




Labour-day... tiny tiny raindrops falling from the sky, like the mist from a spray-bottle, the wind catches it and blows it onto my skin. Cooling.


Not the best morning in life to wake up, i woke up late from probably turning off the alarm in my sleep since i did set it before bed last night. i was supposed to wake up at 5am, E was going fishing but instead i woke up at 7.30. Fail. i hope he went anyway and caught a lot of fish and enjoyed his day , he didnt say anything this morning...

i had a hard time falling asleep last night even though i need every minute of sleep i can get. i was up for a long time listening to the footsteps of the guests walking back and forth on the wooden floors upstairs. it was as if they were louder than ever before, penetrating my ears together with my mind and body that has been bubbling and sparkling with love and a dash of anxiety. i feel like i want to say something, i think its understood already, but i feel like i need to say it, express and explain my feelings, hopefully without making a mess. and that is what im afraid of. i would like to ask something...


Earlier this week i was suppose to get a guy working here but it didnt happen, ernesto explained to me though that he had been watching him and saw that he was actually quite lazy and also not so very good in english so in the end it would have been just a waste of time and money. even though i get a worker i will stay here on spot most of the time. hopefully i get just a little bit more of sleep and maybe some time to myself going outside the building. hehe, after not going outside for 2 months it starts messing with your head a little if you get a bit tired and weak (especially when catching a cold and getting fever at the same time), the combo is just strange and a bit scary since you are dealing with people, money, bookings... but i went through it! :) and what was the saying... what doesnt kill you, makes you stronger. last night ernesto told me that there are 2 girls coming here to work for two months. one will be put in tracks and one here. we were looking for a guy to put here actually but it has to work for now. ernesto made fun of the fact that it is a girl and the very local way with girls here so i will become "sister", my god(!), haha. i know about it too well already, a bit strange but flattering the first time it happens but when it becomes more frequent its just, i dont know what it is. i say, -girl, i aint your sistah, im your boss lah. hehe. i hope it will work out, yup it will, just keep the line....

it is like 28 days until my mom and brother gets here. quite exciting. i hope i can bring my mom out a little. i promised to bring her to massage, hopefully i could bring her together with ernesto and maybe some of the other guys. i know she would love that. ernesto means a lot to her.

if today was in normal life it would feel like a sunday... im finishing the chocolate ice-cream me and E was sharing last night, feeling a bit down of the failure this morning, the street is quiet outside, threehouse is quiet, all the guests went out except for the guys of the italian and swedish couple.

maybe i go clean a little.