peace and shopping

Since yesterday night until an incident this morning i've been haunted by numbers in my mind. In chinese belief the numbers have different meanings and the combos of numbers also make different meanings. a bad number with a good number before or after it could make it a opposite meaning from what the number is by itself. number four is bad! it means death. as simple as that. i haven't learned all the meanings yet and far from learning the combos. but yesterday it was the 14th and by not feeling super yesterday this number started growing bad sense in my mind and this morning at the post-office i got number 2214 i almost fainted. haha.
i know it also has to do with how much belief you put into this but now when being alone for a few weeks in kuching i feel like just living safe and not cause trouble....


Today i woke up and had my glass of Melilea (a green herb veggie drink that cleans your body) and coffee. Then i went to the post-office and paid some bills, went to the hardware-store to buy silicon and clear spray-paint. The staff was happy to see me and wondered where i've been (i was there almost everyday before). Then i had a coffee at black bean and watched a white guy trying to be cute and flirt across the street from where i was sitting. I didn't pay much attention but thought too myself, lucky it wasn't a fat chinese guy with a pony-tail winking at me very happy acting cool and thinking he looks good while carrying his girlfriends hand-bag (that happened to me at the cinema some months ago, i was shaaamed and even more when ernesto tell me this guy had been watching me already in the elevator). after black bean i went to a chinese incense shop where i bought some incense (obviously) for tonight. after that i went to the chinese pharmacy and bought myself some antiseptic herb-cream for my cut, some roots i will make some tea out of and some herbs i will make some more tea out of for my body. hehe. tonight after i finish my studies i feel like just pampering myself and clear my mind and soul, take care of myself and feel good. i feel this peace within myself just now, it's a feeling so strong my legs almost feel numb, in a good way. ha ha. i can't explain really what it is that i'm feeling. i feel like it is a new start on something tonight.



when i came back home i textmessaged nick at tracks, see if he could help me out with the silicon, he was here within minutes and knew where the things were already, i was suprised. hehe. i have very hard asking for help but before the boys went off to europe ernesto said i should ask nick for help if anything. my hope was not doing this but i did and it went smoothly. maybe its not that bad asking for help after all... not when it comes to someone who comes from this group of people atleast. they're reliable. with them around me, i'm in the good zone.


"this is not here" love -J